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Feb14

Part 3: Can you be THIS Sexy & Celibate?? Inquiring Minds Want to Know

HJ FOXWOODSThe short answer is: Yes. So, then, WHAT PRAY TELL, would make a person, such as myself, OUT themselves on the whole celibacy thing? I’ll tell you what finally forced my hand…the conversation below. But, before we resume this conversation, please let me say that I hope the ‘tongue & cheekiness’ of title, doesn’t minimize the need and importance of this conversation…

INSTALLMENT #2: “Mommy: What does Married Mean???!!!” (or…my heart hurts for our daughters)
Okay, now is when I was all prepared to tell you how this whole epiphany…nightmare began. But, something happened that disrupted the process and now I know why. If you have a daughter, niece, a loved one of ‘ a certain age’…this might tear you up. It did me.

There are a small number of young ladies that I spend A LOT of time with. And, I have to be careful on this one to be as vague, yet specific as possible. Here we go. I had flowers delivered to me for Valentine’s Day and that night, as I was getting ready to meet a friend for dinner, my 15yo sweetheart was watching me get ready. We had had a conversation the week prior, where she asked me,

15yo: “Ms. Helena, how do you that?”
Me: “Do what?”
15yo: “Get a guy to take you out, and treat you nice without having sex?”

I slowed down…I looked her little face…I saw her fighting back tears. She’s been an up close observer of my life for more than 2 years. I remember her first comment upon hearing, my decision to wait on my husband…my soul-mate. Her response was, “yeah right Ms. Helena”. I didn’t get upset, or offended, in fact, I was a little skeptical myself. I was “attempting” something new and I was wobbly. So, uncharacteristically, I wasn’t talking a whole lot of smack! Took a more…wait and see posture. Hah. But now, she had come to me. Having come to a different conclusion about me based on what she now believes. Hmmm…how do you proceed. The last thing I wanted to do was make the possibility of having the kind of healthy, respectful BUT FUN (I always have fun) relationship she wanted–seem too out of reach. How do I get her to see her worth? I will share the conversation between us when I return to blog later. But, as I said earlier…my heart aches for our daughters…something has gone wrong. So…outing myself, if you will, became something I more or less felt I had to do. {This in response to the numerous inbox messages and your kind offers of “help” (lol), and some very UNKIND (almost angry) judgements the ridiculousness of what I am doing, and reminders that…”YOU’RE NO LONGER 20. YOU NEED TO GET REAL. NO MAN IS GONNA WAIT. WHY DENY YOURSELF?” …..More to come…
[Please pardon any grammatical or syntactical errors…we’ll clean it up later. But knowing me, (and I do) I was becoming concerned that I would back-peddle…get cold feet, so I have to move before I second guess myself. hj]

MAKE NO MISTAKE…THIS WILL BE A GROWN FOLKS CONVERSATION. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED. For real though, this is a very serious conversation. BUT, since I don’t find anything sexy about taking yourself too seriously– we gon do this the HJ Way, so…HOLD ON. Getting this story into one-part proved impossible. But my good girlfriends begged me to publish…they enjoy seeing me squirm. Truthfully, the reaction from the men — especially those with daughters of a certain age — was quite telling!!! So, I’m taking one for the team and OUTING myself. I wouldn’t dream of publishing this little note today…not on Valentine’s Day…go ahead enjoy yourselves…BUT, come tomorrow it is coming in the following waves………………….
1. I GOT A REAL WOMANLY NATURE
2. GOD’S GOT JOKES…
3. ME?!!! REALLY LORD??? WHYAGAIN, EXACTLY?
4. “MOMMY? WHAT DOES MARRIED MEAN?” (my heartache for this generation)
5. HOW DOES SHE DO IT?? ENGAGED…AGAIN!!!
6. WHAT THE _ _ _ _!! (fill in the blanks)
7. STILL DON’T LIKE IT…BUT ENJOYING THE RIDE!
You can follow the conversation here, (facebook always gets the unedited version first), or you can follow the blog at:
helena-joyce.com/contact/
buthelenajoycesaid.wordpress.com/

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY Y’ALL!!!!!!!!

imagrs

1 Comments

Helena-Joyce

June 18 2014 Reply

I await your next installment Helena-Joyce Wright.

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